Remembering Jareth
by Kaerith
Summary: Poor Jareth. His talents at song, child snatching and fashion will never be understood by us ignorant and boorish mortals. Where does that leave him? Being mocked and laughed at, unfortunately.
1. Remembering Jareth

**Remembering Jareth**

"Toby?" Sarah asked for the third time. Her brother's eyes finally seemed to focus on her.

"Hmm? What?"

Sarah sighed. He had been spacing out again. It was something of a habit for her fifteen-year-old brother, one which psychiatrists had tried treating years before as ADD but with no effect. He'd been like this forever, and sometimes she wondered if it was an effect of their adventure Underground.

"Why do you always do that?"

Toby's eyebrows briefly contorted in a clueless way, though he knew exactly what she was talking about. "Oh. Daydreaming again."

"About what?" The woman pressed.

"Kerry Elkhorn got a new bikini. I saw her in it at the pool today." The teenager grinned wolfishly as his sister squirmed and changed the subject. His response was a lie. True, Kerry had been wearing a new swimsuit, but Toby's thoughts had been on something a lot less tangible than a 17-year-old's breasts and tanned skin.

He'd heard music again. Music and traces of strange laughter. Every once in a while Toby would hear something. It had been happening for as long as he could remember. He stopped mentioning these figments after the first round of child psychologists his parents had dragged him to when he was eight. He wasn't insane; or at least he didn't think he was.

These distractions had become a bit more frequent lately. A little bit stronger. As if some tiny fragment of himself was in another place. Toby had no idea just what that place would be, just that it was… different.

He and Sarah were spending the evening alone at home. His sister had come over for the week to keep Toby company while their parent's were on a cruise. A movie had just ended, and the two siblings were sprawled out on couches in the family room.

Sarah's chatter about her graduate work was cut off abruptly as the lights flickered and complete darkness settled.

"Did the power go out?" Toby asked, getting up and peering through the window. There were no lights in sight, and the storm outside seemed exponentially louder as the perpetual humming of appliances was silent.

It is strange, he absently mused, how the small sounds you hear every day and ignore become conspicuous and disorientating absences when they cease.

Toby cautiously made his way to the sofa that his sister was sitting on. He sat down. "Man, it's really blowing outside."

The wind howled and raindrops hit the glass of the windows with the faintest audible impacts.

Receiving no acknowledgement for his observation, Toby frowned. "Sarah? You okay?"

Hidden from her brother in the darkness, Sarah trembled. She was taken back to when, almost fifteen years ago, she had made a thoughtless wish and the lights had died and white wings battered at the doors. Suddenly she gasped as a realization hit her; it was very likely that this was an anniversary of that night. Her father and stepmother had gone out for an anniversary dinner. That was the same reason for their cruise this week.

"What's wrong?" Toby managed to find her in the dark and his hands grasped her shoulders. "You're shaking! What is it? Are you scared?"

Sarah managed to regain some composure. _I didn't make a wish_, she reminded herself, _there are no goblins hiding in the corners_.

She exhaled a breath that she hadn't known she was holding. "I'm fine." She patted one of Toby's hands. "This just reminded me of a dream I had once." Sarah had never told anybody about the labyrinth and the goblin king; she had half-convinced herself that it was a dream created by an overly fanciful mind.

"What was it about?" Toby inquired, not really caring except that they seemed to have nothing else to do at the moment.

"It was pretty soon after you were born. I was fifteen and had been obsessing over a particular fantasy story. I dreamt that I wished that the Goblin King would take you away. He did, and I had to make my way through a huge mage to get you back."

"A goblin king?" The teenager sounded skeptical. "As in short and green with funny ears?"

Sarah almost laughed until an image of Jareth appeared in her mind. "The goblins kind of looked like that. Not the King, though. He was human. Or at least looked human."

"Wow. Must've been one hell of a dream for you to remember it so well ten years later."

The woman's exhale almost sounded like a weak laugh. "It was. Very vivid. I remember it so well…."

"Well," her brother stated moving around on the couch and making himself comfortable. "There's nothing else to do right now. Remember anything else about it?"

_Elsewhere, a blond man laughed and lifted his gaze from a crystal sphere. "She thinks it was a dream!" The creatures ensconced around the room howled and cackled along with him._

His attention pulled from his sister's narrative, Toby frowned. There was that laughter again. A little louder. He could pick out individual voices from the discordant noise. A few seconds, and then it faded. He picked up the thread of Sarah's monologue again.

"-And he sang. It was strange. He looked like a glam rock star: long, wispy blond hair and lots of eye makeup. And his outfits were outrageous! Tight- and I mean _tight!_- pants and shirts with loads of ruffles. At the time I thought it was romantic. Medieval. But now I realize it was just kind of gay." She giggled.

"Who?" Toby asked, hoping that his sister wouldn't notice that he had zoned again.

"The Goblin King. He would sing and-" snort "-dance!"

"_What is wrong with singing and dancing?!" The Goblin King demanded, affronted. There was no response from his subjects._

Sarah must have had a clear mental picture, Toby thought. She was almost in hysterics.

"...Sounds pretty gay," he put in. Silently, he was wondering if his parents had blown their money on therapists for the wrong child.


	2. Jareth versus the Humans

**Jareth versus the Humans**

Seriously, nothing was going on in the Goblin Kingdom. At least he had his crystals, though Jareth always felt like he was reduced to being a Peeping Tom; it was one of the few alternatives he had to becoming bored to death.

Spying on the mortal realm was a paradoxically exciting yet disheartening experience. Fewer and fewer mortal humans believed in the old stories. Before Sarah and her brat had arrived and shaken things up, there had been an even longer dry spell in child-removal requests. In fact, pretty much since the advent of things called "mashings," and "reef-ridge-array-chun" and "birth control", Jareth's whole goblin-making business had been on the decline. Seems like humans didn't want to get rid of their children anymore.

If there was a tangible sense of passing time in the Underground and if Jareth had studied business or economics, he would have realized that diminishing demand was forcing him into an early retirement. But of course he was ignorant about such things, so all he could do was complain.

"You!" Jareth jumped off his throne and pointed at a cowering goblin. "I'm fit, and charismatic, and pretty! Yes?!" he demanded.

The victimized goblin nodded furiously.

"And I deserve to have all things in life given to me, yes?"

Nodnod bobbed the goblin's misshapen head.

"Why, then, do I have nothing to do but stare at your ugly mugs and play with my balls?!"

Several twitters and snickers echoed around the throne room. Jareth furiously whipped his head around, glaring at the rattling pot lids and into the corners and at the piles of goblin-hiding trash. Not finding any of his disrespectful subjects in plain view, his glower turned on the one goblin that hadn't laughed and was still huddled on the flagstones.

"There was nothing amusing about that sentence," he decreed.

The goblin shook its head so quickly that its ears flapped.

In an even fouler mood, Jareth returned to collapse in his throne. "Perhaps it is time," he mused. "You! With the kettle!" A goblin that had been rounding a corner stiffened and changed direction to approach the throne. Every other step was a clang-scrape due to the dented copper teakettle that had been jammed onto its right foot. "Fetch me my cloak! I am going to the mortal realm."

Almost fourteen mortal years ago, Jareth had done something that he wasn't supposed to. He had released a child. Of course, that- that... _girl_ hadn't been supposed to be able to navigate the labyrinth in the first place, so he felt absolutely justified in not quite releasing the entire child. Even Jareth wasn't sure how he did it, but the fact was that a tiny sliver of Toby's mind/spirit/psyche had remained Underground. It had provided the Goblin King several accumulated days' worth of spying on the growing child, giving him a visible target to mutter and insult and generally wallow in bitterness over. (Keep in mind, though, that the King did not spend the majority of his life obsessing over the one that got away; a fair amount of time was spent songwriting and choreographing and costume designing, his three favorite pastimes besides child-snatching and goblin abuse.)

So with the crystal containing a part of Toby and his magical energy at full capacity, Jareth had the direction and power needed to pay a call on some... old friends.

----------------------------

Sarah had another keen sense of deja vu and choking panic when she saw a white blur cross one of the living room windows. Her fears were confirmed when a white owl beat its wings against the glass of the patio doors.

"Cool! An owl!" She saw the shape of her brother's body against the lighter patch of starlit darkness.

"Don't!" Sarah jumped out of the chair and pulled Toby back by his shoulders. "Stay away from him!"

The owl, clearly understanding that the woman was not going to kindly open the door from him, settled on the knee-high concrete partition between the porch and the lawn. It ruffled its feathers indignantly before shimmering into the form of a man.

Sarah gasped. Toby winced as her fingertips dug painfully into his skin. "_Jee_-zus, Sarah!" he exclaimed, looking over his shoulder. "What the heck's wrong with you?!"

She stared straight out the glass doors, transfixed. "It's him," she breathed.

Toby turned to look. A man with poofy hair was fiddling with the door handle. "That's him?" The door opened and he stepped in. Toby clicked on the flashlight in his hand and aimed it at the intruder's face and guffawed. "You just realized?" He enquired dryly, referring to the obvious fact that the man dressed like a fruity pirate. "Get a load of that eye makeup!"

Jareth shielded his eyes from the beam of light and scowled. This was a far cry from the entrance he had envisioned: him, striding through the doors looking handsome and condescending, and uttering "Hello Sarah" with the just slightest hint of amusement and scorn. Instead he was standing, wet and practically blinded, being insulted by a runt of a breeder. (Actually, Jareth would've taken the boy's comment about his makeup as a compliment if he hadn't picked up on the unflattering tone.)

It was time for a new plan of action, Jareth thought. He needed to salvage some sort of control over this encounter, so he decided to skip the pleasantries (such as they were) and move on to Phase Two.

Five... six... seven.. eight...

Jareth began to croon.

"No one can blame you, for walking away-"

That seemed to start putting the children at ease. Sarah's hands dropped from her brother's shoulders, and the boy covered his mouth with a hand. Overcome by emotion, Jareth assumed. Encouraged, he sang louder.

"From too much protection-" Jareth sashayed. "No love injection, ah ah."

Sarah grinned. The boy bent over, shoulders shaking. He looked to be having some kind of fit.

"Life can be easy, it's not always swell. Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl," he gracefully raised a hand to indicate Sarah, "'Cause it hurts like hell." Aaaand... cue the reverb. Magic was useful for a soloist.

"Oh... my... God!" Toby stuttered. His laughter finally became audible. His arms were wrapped around his stomach. "I can't... believe... you... took this guy seriously!"

Jareth stopped singing and frowned, confused.

"Give me a break!" Sarah pleaded. "I was fourteen, naive, and living in a fantasy world." She, too, was laughing.

"But still-" Toby hooted, breathlessly unable to finish a sentence.

Ignored and defeated, Jareth dropped his arms. Humans were different these days. It was time to face up to the fact that mortals had forgotten that he existed, or, if they actually remembered, considered him a big joke. Jareth shifted into owl form and left before they began criticizing him again.

Perhaps it was time for a change in career, he mused. Something that put him into contact with _intelligent_ mortals with the proper appreciation for the fine arts. Surely, the entire human population wasn't as ignorant and uncouth as these two. Someone, somewhere, would give him the respect and admiration he deserved.

----------------------------

A couple months later

"There's such a sad love, deep in your eyes; a kind of pale jewel, open and closed within your eyes... I'll place the sky within your eyes."

This was it! Jareth knew it. He had an audience, and half a dozen of those kam-raw things aimed at him. He had planned the new dance steps carefully, though it was a shame that he had to do it _a capella_, but he couldn't use magic in front of so many human adults. And the costume was made of rich fabrics in striking shades of purple, and-

"Enough!"

Jareth stopped in confusion.

"First off," the man with the sign that said "Simon" said, "I don't know what kind of look you're trying to pull off. Now, your singing... I'm at a loss for words."

Jareth gritted his teeth. It was official: he despised humans.

----------------------------

Notes: I don't really feel like this is terribly funny. At least, not in a well-written way. Plus, I just had to add the cheap shot of Jareth auditioning for "American Idol" at the end. I've never actually watched the show, so I didn't feel like I could do that Simon guy any justice, hence the relatively tame comment and the trailing off. I have to admit, though, the image of Jareth being insulted at an Idol audition is pretty hilarious in my opinion.

I was amazed at the flood of responses (yes, six [seven by the time I'm rereading this note is a flood for me, especially considering that it was only in the space of a few hours since posting "Remembering Jareth"). I was so grateful that I wanted to immediately try writing another part to this despite the raging headache I've had all evening (and the distraction of my boyfriend playing video games in the same room). I hope my humble attempt is adequate.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited! I'm happy that this fandom is still alive after all these years! While I never actually got around to writing any Jareth/Toby slash (and unfortunately probably won't), I have been enjoying those stories particularly whenever I visit this fandom.

Thank you for reading all of this nonsense!


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